Sunday, January 30, 2011

Chris Rock said it best...

Chris Rock said it best.  "All good relationships are boring ". I can concur, as someone who spent an hour and a half in heated debate with her fiance discussing the differences in meaning between the two sentences:  "That person may have a bad heart condition." vs "That person has a bad heart condition."  On that point, no I don't want to expound any further.

What I will say is that I noticed this phenomenon early into my relationship and I had a hard time understanding it.  I mean c'mon! Debates over word placement in sentences, or viewpoints on whether mothers with newborn children should travel....  I mean really?  Is this the best we can come up with? Whatever happened to fights that stem from finding another girls panties in your bed?  Those are real fights!

And then it dawned on me. In a good relationship you don't fight about the fundamentals.  You don't have monumental difference's of opinion that weaken the very fabric of what your trying to piece together.  In good relationships, sometimes you fight for the sheer joy of fighting.  Simply put, to flex your fight muscles.  You fight about the psychological or social impact that certain behaviors have on society.  You fight about how to properly apply bible principles, you fight about how to understand scriptures correctly.  And frankly, I use the word fight loosely.  Trust me when I say that these are not even real fights.  While it might be a big deal to you, the Richter scale for fights refuses to even acknowledge these encounters.  These are extreme differences of opinion between two people who respect each other and ultimately are going to find a way to get on the same page. I mean could this be any more sickening? 

I'm telling you now if you've spent years lovingly nurturing your cynical side and creating an entire self deprecating sense of humor whose timing hinges on that cynicism.... a good relationship is going to destroy all of that work very quickly.  But after the smoke clears from the fall of that cynical wall, you find you are left with the only thing that really matters.  A partner whom you really trust.  Someone who puts you before themselves and who tries to see you in the same light that your maker sees you.  Someone you would cross the country, the ocean or the world for without hesitation.  And after all isn't that security the relationship golden fleece that most us claim we have been looking for?

1 comment:

  1. Edward Albee's "Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf." George says of his fights with his wife, Martha: "Don't mind us, we're just walking about what's left of our wits."